Sunday, October 20, 2019

Husbands (Study in Proverbs)


SPIRITUAL DIARY FOR 2/20/2013 11:06 AM
My Worship Time                                                                          Focus:  PT-2 Husband & Wives
Bible Reading & Meditation                                                 Reference:  Proverbs
            Message of the verses:  We will continue to look at what the book of Proverbs and other parts of the Bible have to say about Husbands and Wives.  I must say that this will not be an exhausted study on what the Bible has to say about husbands and wives, but hopefully it will help those of us who need to look at this type of study. 
            Husbands:  I first want to begin by gleaming from what Dr. Wiersbe has in his commentary on the book of Proverbs and then I want to look at some things that I have learned from a message from the church that I attend on what our Pastor said from one verse in the book of First Peter on the husband.
            Proverbs 19:14 states “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.”  Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD.”  Dr. Wiersbe writes “Blessed is the marriage in which the husband acknowledges God’s goodness to him in giving him his wife!  When a husband takes her for granted, he grieves both her and the Lord.  He should love her and be loyal to her all the days of his life.”
            In the book of Proverbs we find out that it teaches that the husband is placed with the responsibility of guiding the home in the manner of how God desires it to be run, but when we look at the 31st chapter of Proverbs we see also that the wife plays and important part.  Dr. Wiersbe writes “Where two people love the Lord and love each other, God can guide and bless them.  It’s not a ‘fifty-fifty’ arrangement, because ‘two become one.’  Rather, it’s a 100 percent devotion to each other and to the Lord.”
            Now I want to give ten things that a husband should do from the sermon that I spoke of earlier on First Peter 3:7 “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” 
            What does it mean when we see that husbands should live with their wives in an understanding way?  Well we first have to realize that men and women are different.  I don’t suppose that this is something that needs to be said, but it is true.  We see in the Bible that a husband is suppose to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the Church, and Christ died for those who are true members of the Church, so that is seen as a sacrificial kind of love.  We never see anything in the Bible where a wife is to love her husband, but we do see that a wife is supposed to show respect to her husband.  What we see from this is that a wife responds well when she is loved by her husband, and a husband responds well when his wife respects him.  I have attended a marriage session which speaks to these very issues.  The major text from the marriage seminar comes from Ephesians 5:33 (NIV) “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”  If anyone is interested in looking at the website for the “Love & Respect” marriage seminar it is www.loveandrespect.com
            I want to go back to what we were talking about from 1 Peter 3:7 when Peter writes that we are to be understanding to our wives.  There are times when a wife just wants to talk to her husband and just have him listen to her.  And when she is done talking to him she does not (for the most part) want him to solve the problem that she is talking about.  Men like to solve problems, it is something that seems to be a part of them, but women just want them to listen.  Now there may be times when wives want to get advice from their husband on a certain issue and then we have to give them our input on that issue.
            Husbands are to make a study of what makes our their wife happy, and that is part of what Peter is writing about when he speaks about understanding your wife. A good thing that a husband can say to his wife is “I don’t understand, but I am trying to be understanding.”
Peter also calls the wife a weaker vessel, and that does not mean anything but weaker physically, for most men are stronger than their wives.
Peter goes on to say that men should show honor to their wives as someone who is “a fellow heir of the grace of life.”  The word honor comes from a military situation where one is awarded for something that they have done, and this is the way that we should honor our wives.
In the sermon our Pastor gives ten different ways in which we can give honor to our wives:
1.       Always treat your wife as an equal that she is.  (We touched on this earlier.)
2.       Never demand submission from your wife. 
3.      Make her second only to the LORD in your life.  (Your job, or hobby, or anything else should not come before your wife.”
4.      Value and seek her opinion for husbands need this.
5.      Encourage her.  Do something that you know will light up her eyes and make her feel like she is on top of the world.
6.      Show non-sexual affection.
7.      Speak softly at all times to your wife:  “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger Proverbs 15:1).”
8.      Take time to express to your wife what is going on inside of your heart.  (This one can be a tough one.)
9.      Actively listen and at times just listen. (We talked about this earlier.)
10.   DATE!  Remember how it was when you were dating your wife before you were married?  Sometimes we men act like hunters when it comes to getting a wife, and once we get her we stop doing the things that we did that made her happy when we were dating her, trying to make her happy by going out of our way.
Now I want to look at the last phrase in 1 Peter 3:7, “as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”  When Peter says fellow heirs it is probably speaking of marriage as a gift. Grace means that we are given something that we do not deserve and God has given us this gift of marriage in grace, something we do not deserve.  When we look at other passages, like in Ephesians that speak of marriage they are seen as a picture of the godhead, and so marriage is a gift from God.  We may have a hard time understanding this, but think about how unhappy we would be if we were not married, and if God had not given the girt of marriage.  When you think about the most important relationship that believers have, and that is the relationship with the LORD, and then think about the second most important relationship that God has given to us and that is marriage.  Peter concludes this verse by stating that if a husband is not treating his wife in the way that God had designed for her to be treated then the husband’s prayers will not be answered.  Think about all the important things that we as men want God to answer in our lives, and then think about not having that open fellowship with the Lord because of the way we treat our wives causing it to stop.  What shall we do about it?  Confession to the Lord and to our wives is the first step and then perhaps get some counseling from our Pastors to help us out could be next in line.  How about memorizing some verses of Scriptures that we can fill our minds with to help us in our relationship with our wife.  These kinds of things will be the best investment we can make to have our marriage be the best it can be.
Spiritual meaning for my life today:  I want to follow my own advice as written above.
My Steps of Faith for Today:  Think about the things that I need to do today in order to make my marriage better than it is now and then do them.
Memory verses for the week:  Psalm 32:1-3
            1 How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!  2 How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whom there is no deceit!  3 When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.
Turning Points Wisdom for Today:  “Soul surgery transpires as serenity replaces anxiety.”  (Charles Swindoll)  “Be still and know that I am God.”  (Psalm 46:10 NIV)
2/20/2013 12:30 PM

                                                                                                                   

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